god please just, kill jack!

Ha, here is a laugh just for the world. I go to school on a actual normal day, well its never normal on good ol' PEI, I go to school and after first period the fire alarm rings , everyone thought it was a drill.. pft, NOPE. We all got evacutated onto the lawn of the school, and we see the janitor on the roof, the principal outside and everyone. And we are like, this isn't a drill. So I get my camera out and start taking pictures.. well haha, 5 minutes later (camera still out) fire trucks come, crazzyy. After a hour on the grass throwing worms at eachother, grass and such the fat guidance dude comes and tells us that we are not aloud back inside and here I am thinking, Shit my brothers game boy is in my kit bag if that goes up in flames I am fucked. So I freak (while I need to pee) and I am like  I NEED TO PEE!  So they yell at me and they are like okay, and I said can I go find a bush and they are alike your not leaving and im like fuck? A hour later we have all the buses here and then I go and sneak in the school and grab my shit, and run out, I get in so much trouble and get yelled at I get on the bus and go home early, and that is where I am now.. home alone waiting for my mom to come home so I can have a laugh with her :]

All I have done since three weeks ago is school, eat, sleep, work.. I’m sick and tired of it. I may get to go on the computer or do something else “randomly”, but it’s unusual. I will have to quit soccer and I can see myself failing school. I’m not ready for work but as mom says , and quote.

Well, if you can’t handle it let me take the money away from you

Well, be a bitch to me anymore, all I do is those things and get bothered and bossed around, I’m sick of it. I sadly miss the chores around home instead of getting money for making burgers, fries, onion rings, and chicken. Come on is that a life? No.. if it was I would be living the high life like Paris Hilton and just having the money passed to me in silver platters, now.. that’s the life.

A positive thing is school, I may hate the band teacher. But at the moment he is actually my life. Yes, my life. Do you know what a band exchange is? Well, it’s a exchange from two schools in the music program to have fun and play concerts but, most of all meet all of these new people. Well, they all came to PEI to see us first and it was a blast. We may have had to go to three schools to play concerts, but the rest was a blast. We went everywhere, swimming, go karts, bowling, pool.. just everything. And even when I thought it was all done there was a dance, I can’t dance. Well.. that I thought. All the girls from Bedford (the visiting band) , just loved me. So I learned how to slow dance and dirty dance that night, lets just say I was the best out of them all. At the end I had the band teacher yell at me saying ” Next time no ass and hips” , woops. I can’t wait to go to bedford we are going rock climbing , concerts, shopping (clothes, fuck yes!) , and more.. Woot!

Note to the world: Download a band called ; Cartel <3

Soccer, school , and working at A&W just makes life busy and hectic. Yes, school is the first thing that I have to think about not just because of my grades, but I need to keep it primary because if I fall in school I fall in life. As so as I have heard. As long as I can keep a 80 in all my classes then I’m sailing. But having money for random things that I just may need is a kick ass thing too. See there is a number of things I am doing once I get my first pay cheque in two weeks. I am going to be dyeing my hair bleach blond, getting a bag for soccer equpiment, clothes from abercrombie, new shoes, big glasses, new pair of blue jeans, textured shorts, ipod case, .nu on the internet, a macbook pro, scribblers for school, pimple cream (I need it, If i’m working at A&W). Gosh.. the list goes on forever. I’m not going to be getting everything in the first pay cheque, but once I get going my list will shrink, heck yes.

Soccer is starting up now. I have had two practices, pretty decent I must say. I am doing good, I just need to work on my passing, foot work and thinking. I haven’t played since November so I have to get back in shape and get my head working , yet again. Oh well, see there is only 10 of us so far, for under 16. We have to have at least 21 people, so the coach has asked us to get more bodies out here. To at least to make a team. Hopefully we are successful because I don’t want to be a A team.

Hopefully I don’t crash and burn, but usually I do, let’s just pray I don’t. I don’t want to stay over night at another mental facility, that would be just a praise. One thing I have always wanted to do is ask a police officer if they could put me in a straight jacket and let me bounce around in a little isolated room, and get millions of pictures… now that would make my life complete.

Remember when I said that I had the police come to my house and take me away because of suicide. Well, I found out who did it to me, it was my ex-girlfriend. So this is what I did, I acted like I liked her, but sadly it didn't work , ah ha. Look ;

울tony,  says:

 the better part of valor is discretion.  says:

how do you like me though,

I don't understand.

and why would you think i would be all "ewww" and what not,

울tony, /elise. says:

because im discusting.

i just think "gosh i love this girls hair, face, personality, and humor" and that just makes me lovestruck.

*

*

울tony, /elise. says:

because im discusting.

i just think "gosh i love this girls hair, face, personality, and humor" and that just makes me lovestruck.

 

the better part of valor is discretion.  says:

you are not gross,

you are adorable.

I just don't see why you or anyone else likes me.

울tony, says:

me and tanner love you.

the better part of valor is discretion.  says:

rofl.

I refuse to talk to tanner though.

i told him that last night, that i never want to tak to him again.

울tony, says:

why?

울tony,  iloveyoujessica. :] says:

(the jessica thing in my name is joke)

울tony,  iloveyoujessica. :] says:

i really like you though, thats why i wanted to hang out tonight, but your mom is so HOMOSEXUAL.

the better part of valor is discretion.  says:

because he has a very lar

울tony,  says:

울tony,  iloveyoujessica. :] says:

i really like you though, thats why i wanted to hang out tonight, but your mom is so HOMOSEXUAL.

the better part of valor is discretion.  says:

because he has a very large mouth and kept saying stuff about me to people that had no reason to know things,

so i snapped.

the better part of valor is discretion.  says:

that she is..

 

[.: Jess E :.] - {confused} - deep down inside i feel a scream says:

whats the point of this?

[.: Jess E :.] - {confused} - deep down inside i feel a scream says:

 

울tony, elise says:

ilikedyou but now i like brittany <3.

[.: Jess E :.] - {confused} - deep down inside i feel a scream says:

so what

[.: Jess E :.] - {confused} - deep down inside i feel a scream says:

who gives a shit

울tony, says:

im sorry but your horses are hotter then you , your the ass of the horse. you are so mean to me, i try to be nice and like you and you don't. you wouldn't do anything with me and i tried! i was like making out with your neck for fuck sakes and you backed down, broken heart much. and then calling the cops on me because i was slitting my wrists and wanting to die, why didn't you just leave me in peace instead of making hell. at least elise will give me a blowjob and like it.

[.: Jess E :.] - {confused} - deep down inside i feel a scream says:

oh i've been nice to you, YOU went to fucking far, you've crossed the line, and plus you never tried to kiss me, i would've done anything with you, but i was trying to get to no you

울tony, says:

i wished you didn't hurt me, i loved you. but now im just heartbroken with the fade.

울tony, says:

i did so kiss you and you turned away for godsake.

[.: Jess E :.] - {confused} - deep down inside i feel a scream says:

i loved you to, but holy fuck, i wish i didnt hurt you either, but you no what

울tony, says:

what?

 

[.: Jess E :.] - {confused} - deep down inside i feel a scream says:

STOP BEING A SELFISH BASTARD AND PUT YOURSELF IN MY SHOES FOR ONCE AND IF YOU EXPECTED TO BE WITH ME, READ WHAT YOUR FUCKING TYPING FIRST

울tony, says:

I am  I am just so mad, I really like you. Oh my gosh , i'm crying now. Look what you done.

[.: Jess E :.] - {confused} - deep down inside i feel a scream says:

im done talking to you, look what you've done, you've made me cry like 10 times

[.: Jess E :.] - {confused} - deep down inside i feel a scream says:

so dont you start

울tony, says:

your not crying, because im the one crying, my mom is asking what is wrong.

울tony, says:

i guess i won't tell her. but im sooo sad.

[.: Jess E :.] - {confused} - deep down inside i feel a scream says:

and im sure that you still like me (hurts doesnt it, to have someone trying to be nice to you and then have it thrown in your face)

울tony, says:

not even another chance.

[.: Jess E :.] - {confused} - deep down inside i feel a scream says:

shut for once

울tony, says:

 

[.: Jess E :.] - {confused} - deep down inside i feel a scream says:

and what do you want me to do about it?

울tony, says:

go out with me.

울tony, says:

love me like you have never loved anyone before ;(

울tony, says:

JESSICA  PLEASE.

[.: Jess E :.] - getting ready for the dance with molly!! =D says:

i've already tryed and you broke up with me

울tony, says:

that's a yes  yaya

[.: Jess E :.] - getting ready for the dance with molly!! =D says:

no its not, its a no, im srry

[.: Jess E :.] - getting ready for the dance with molly!! =D says:

theres nothing you can do to convince me, you could try but im telling you that its a no

울tony, says:

 

울tony, says:

come on

[.: Jess E :.] - getting ready for the dance with molly!! =D says:

why, why should i?

[.: Jess E :.] - getting ready for the dance with molly!! =D says:

i still dont no why you like me, and plus you insulted me and said that i was ugly

[.: Jess E :.] - getting ready for the dance with molly!! =D says:

and said that i was green when im not

울tony, says:

because i really like you and i know i won't hurt you , i just need to show you that i am commited and i was just trying to say all those things because i wanted you so badd

[.: Jess E :.] - getting ready for the dance with molly!! =D says:

i still dont no why you like me, and plus you insulted me and said that i was ugly

and said that i was green when im not

 

[.: Jess E :.] - getting ready for the dance with molly!! =D says:

im sure, making me doubt myself and lower my esteem really helped, guys arent supposed to hurt you

울tony, says:

I WAS WRONG! PLEASE LIKE ME.

[.: Jess E :.] - getting ready for the dance with molly!! =D says:

and BTFW im sensitive about myself and my looks, so you hit me in my weakness

[.: Jess E :.] - getting ready for the dance with molly!! =D says:

you werent wrong you meant it, AND IM TRYING TO GET OVER YOU

[.: Jess E :.] - getting ready for the dance with molly!! =D says:

AND YOUR NOT HELPING!

울tony, says:

 heartbreaker, i have never liked anyone like you.

[.: Jess E :.] - getting ready for the dance with molly!! =D says:

im sure

[.: Jess E :.] - getting ready for the dance with molly!! =D says:

you broke my heart 2, mayb 3 times, hurts to have someone throw it back in your face doesnt it

[.: Jess E :.] - getting ready for the dance with molly!! =D says:

and its not like you can convince me

울tony, says:

those times i ddin't want to hurt oyu kelsey did. OH MY GOD<

[.: Jess E :.] - getting ready for the dance with molly!! =D says:

and im never gonna say yes now, for what you said

울tony, says:

iloveyou though, you can never turn me off i love youuu.

[.: Jess E :.] - getting ready for the dance with molly!! =D says:

im sure, so kelsey broke up with me for you even though you didnt want to, ok so why didnt you just write me a note saying that it wasnt true, or asked me back out at the end of the day

울tony, says:

becuase ithought it would be akwerid.

[.: Jess E :.] - getting ready for the dance with molly!! =D says:

i dont care anymore, you've turned me off, you used to turn me on, but i was wrong guys are supposed to protect you and wipe away your tears not cause them

[.: Jess E :.] - getting ready for the dance with molly!! =D says:

omfg now you have me crying,

[.: Jess E :.] - getting ready for the dance with molly!! =D says:

holy shit

울tony, says:

what? why? just because i like you and you didn't like me back?

 

[.: Jess E :.] - getting ready for the dance with molly!! =D says:

 

[.: Jess E :.] - getting ready for the dance with molly!! =D says:

good bye

울tony, says:

okay bye

, Gosh. I love myself.

 

 

As for church I got confirmed. What is that? It's a step up in the church meaning from being a kid to a adult. Well there is a big ceremony and my god mother couldn't make it. So she sent me a cross and chain from Toronto, it was 200$. I love it, it was blessed by the preist and everything. White Gold! It's so special to me it's just wonderful. I love it, its the most prized position I have (along with my ipod and cell phone). Well tonight my brother was playing the wii, and lets just say I almost died. Dad told him to save it but yet, he didn't. Go figure. Well dad turns on the satilite and he is screaming "Let me save it" for 15 minutes, so I take the idea of turning the wii off. I try he rams me in the wall and pulls my chain, and BREAKS IT! I have been crying ever since, because I love it. Because it was the nicest thing I have ever recieved. Mom and dad say they are going to get it fixed.. but I want it fixed now. I want to kill my brother, what a faggot.

As you all know just because of my emotional outbursts, I have to write a journal. Well, lets just say my dad wasn't that fond of this idea so he exclaimed that just because it has been so hard on this family that , I did this... that he is deleting msn off the computer. I am not happy with that, because this messenger is just pretty much one of the main things I just do to sit my ass in front of the computer. So what he has done is that he has added a account to window's xp and it's labelled "grant" whenever he logs in he checks if msn is on his account. Which is just lovely, dad isn't that smart when it comes to the technology. He doesn't know that I have my cell phone with msn on it , and having web messager on the computer, and I have windows messenger which he thinks is a work database.
    Today, I have to go across the river bank and the flower beds to Stratford for my cousin's 3rd birthday party. Usually parties aren't my fancy, but this little girl just makes me smile so I just have to go and see her. I will have to post some pictures from the party on facebook after and post a link on here for everyone so you can see all the lovely aspects of the afternoon. Gracie MacKenzie, three years old, that's lovely.
    What irk's my mind is my mother I go and get a ipod for christmas but then half way through April she is like " Tony, can I borrow your ipod for my walks". I have nothing on my ipod for her, it's all metal and not pop. She gets mad after her "non-peaceful" walk " That music is crap" and then she gives me a list of music to download, like I have my own list to download? And I have dial up so frig, I can't be expected to download the world on this box. I had my computer crash because oh my mother not knowing what to download and what NOT to download. God, some day's you just need to give some people a crack in the head and just hope that they get it.

Some day's I just don't want to wake up and smell the coffee, it's just life I guess. I can sleep the world away but as I said some mornings I wished there wasn't a wake up call in the morning (I would like the girl in my bed though (Lyrics Maroon 5- Wake Up Call), some call it laziness and some call it depression. I don't know what to believe anymore. As for two day's ago I wanted to end life and just say fuck it. But I have come to the conclusion that, pft that's pretty stupid. And selfish because god made me, if he knew this was going to happen well then it would have been just a waste of time. Yes maybe having the police come to my house and making me go in the back seat of the car to head to the hospital may have been a long wait and a bad memory, but in the end it was a lesson learned. I know the whole slitting wrists is stupid, I knew that before I did it. It's just weird, why did I do it even though I knew it was a queer thing to do. The whole time I was in the little room with the police officer I thought, whoever called these scary people to get me down here must really care about me. So I guess I won't have a empty funeral at all, so I might as well save the funeral until I'm 90 - or some age more then 40.
    Everything I do is hard, school ; example : failing english (64%). The teacher hates me I swear, you tell someone to stop picking her nose and eating it so many times and then you get the hate and fail a class. I just wonder if I have to go in general english next year in high school. Yes, going to high school. I don't know if it is a pleasure, or just another addition to the world of "responsiblity". I signed up for the eight courses: English, Math, Science, History, French, ITC, Art, Cooking, and for my alternative I picked Family Living (I pray I get all the courses I want and not having to get the alternative). Not just school is going to knock it up a notch, I have to start a job. Yes, I have to actually go and start a job. Guess where? Have you heard of a place called A&W, well that's where. If you haven't let me fill you in, it's a franchise that sells burgers, fries just fast food. Still clueless? Look at their website ; aw.ca . Flipping burgers and popping pimples that's just the life.